Being a working mom

I have been at a job I love for a little over eighteen months. And I still get mixed feelings about it. My daughter is three and a half. I started working ten days after she turned two.

I get a lot of people that don't understand how I can do it. I'm about to break it down a bit. Pros and cons, if you will.

The way I see it, I was blessed to be able to stay at home with her for so long. Many don't have that chance. I made the decision to work because my husband was stressed and we wanted better things in life. So I go a job. A really great job. Working with people I adore. I consider most to be family.  When I first started working, Audrey was with a friend of mine, who also had a child her age. She loved it. It was like play dates 3 days a week. After we lost that sitter we had a little trouble finding a great one, which we finally did.

So I guess I'll start with the cons:
-I don't get 24 hours a day with Audrey.
-I get up early.
-The hours can get long.
-I don't get early morning cuddles every single day

And the Pros totally outweigh the cons:
-Every day I come home and Audrey is beyond excited to see me. The first thing she does is yell mama and come give a big hug.
-I cherish the time I get with her even more.
-I am teaching her to be independent. That she doesn't HAVE to have a man to support her 100% of the time.
-She LOVES going to daycare and playing with her friends. She tells me about them almost every day.
- She is learning to be independent.
-She has become so much more outgoing being around other kids her age.
-She loves the person that watches her.
-She does completely fine when we drop her off somewhere for a few hours. We've never had a meltdown.

And the list could go on.

Do I feel like I am missing out? Of course I do sometimes. But I feel in my heart that this is what is best for my family. And God has blessed me with a fantastic job that could take me many places. And Audrey loves being able to go to my work and seeing everyone. She loves them too.

I have learned to appreciate SO much more. And my husband. I have a whole new appreciation for him. For how hard he worked to provide for us. And I can only hope he feels the same way about me.

My weightloss Journey

I started another blog just for my weightloss journey. It was a decision that was a little hard to make. Putting my personal thoughts and feelings about my body out there. I decided to make it private, so if you want to view it, I need your email. I decided on that because I will post pictures of my not so pretty body and I need to make sure I can trust the person viewing it. I want to make sure nothing I put on my fitness blog will be used against me later. Which has happened. So I'm not letting it happen again.

I figured a blog would help me write things down I might forget and so there is a place for support so I'm not plastering it on facebook.

So if you'd like to follow the blog, just let me know so I can get your email so you follow this journey of mine. :))

Post military life

I was an "Army Wife" for almost 5 years. I married my husband right after he joined. So for most of our marriage, that was our life.

Weeks in the field, twenty-four hour shifts, inspections, mandatory fun, and deployments. Army gear scattered all over our house. Stuffed in closets, in our garage, in boxes, and in drawers. How things ended up in drawers, I really have no idea.

And then there were the friends. People you had an instant connection with because you all lived the same life. Most knew how you felt, some didn't, but that was okay. I made a few friends. A lot didn't last because there are a lot of bad apples. I had one "friend" drain my bank account. Another post my number and picture on a sex ad. I had hundreds of men texting me. The same girl called me fat. I had another friend that cut all ties because I couldn't attend her son's birthday party because I had a family thing come up. And then there's another situation, with someone I thought was a best friend, but I won't go into that.

Fast forward to now. I only have a couple of those friends left. D has officially been out of the military for 6 weeks. But he was basically out three months ago. He didn't go to work. He had found a new job. As soon people found out he was done, some stopped talking to me. As if, because I was no longer a wife, like them, I wasn't good enough any more. Which really hurt me. And because I didn't live in the same area, I definitely wasn't worth their time. The number of years we were friends before, just didn't matter.Which I guess means, we were never as close of friends as I thought. I might not be an "army wife" any more, but I'm still a human being. The same person I was before. My husband still went through a year long deployment, missing his daughter's first birthday, I still suffered lonely nights like other wives. But  I am somehow different. Tainted to them. In a way. It doesn't matter than I'm still a wife and mother. I still like the same things I did before. I came to learn that the "close knit military family" isn't as close knit as it's chalked up to be.

Hunter Hayes

I can not believe I haven't talked about this yet.

About a month ago my good friend best friend called and asked if I had any plans around Thanksgiving. I told her no and then she told me that she had bought tickets to this concert and now her husband didn't want to go. And asked if I wanted to. I think I said yes a millisecond. I love Hunter Hayes. It's ridiculous how much. And she's the same. I think that's part of the reason we are such great friends. That and the mutual love of Starbucks winter/fall drinks and Hobby Lobby. What more do you need in a friendship?

Anyway. We have great seats. And we will be husband and kid free for the night. I mean, come on. It's going to be perfect. I already booked our hotel room and I have a concert outfit picked out. I'm so excited I get to break out some cute heels/wedges. Every time I hear a song, I think, I will be seeing him pretty soon and I get excited all over again. I am on cloud nine right now.

Up and running.

I feel like I've been going non stop lately.

First off, Florida was amazing. We did so much. A dolphin cruise, aquarium, beach days, the zoo, eating yummy seafood, shopping, and the list kind of goes on from there. My mini me had a blast. And I was able to try my hand at beach photography.

We have been doing a little upgrading to the apartment. We [finally] have a whole matching bedroom set. It only took 5 years. Haha. So we've been doing some redecorating. Now I'm in fall mode, putting up a few things here and there.

I bought an amazing new lens for my camera and I have quite a few sessions booked with KGP! I just wish my favorite location wasn't closed for construction :(

My oh sweet husband told me he wanted to start trying for our second baby and I was kind of shocked. We talked about it, but I'm just not ready yet. So we got a puppy. Compromise right? His name Jack and he's a chiweenie. And adorable. I call him my little Jack Jack. He's snoozing on the couch as I type. He's a playful little guy and LOVES to snuggle. Audrey is in love with him, but still a little rough. We are working on it though.

My 5th wedding anniversary is in 3 months. Already?!
Five years with my best friend. We had some major plans, but his new job hindered them. Which is fine.
We are having anniversary pictures done and I'm planning a few little things. Hopefully we will be able to do what we had planned next year some time. As long as I'm with him, what we do doesn't matter to me.

Mini getaway

Here in an hour or so I am packing up my car and heading to my Mom's. Hello eleven hour drive. But, we want to go to Florida and hang out. It should just be my mom, little lady, and I. So a little girl time :))
D can't go because of work, but told me to have fun. I need the break from work and the time with my mom. I don't get to see her as often as I would like.

This is the perfect opportunity to take my camera out and explore new things. Like beach pictures. I should have rented a lens, but didn't think about it and now I don't have time.

Five years with my best friend

Every so often this hits me. I have been married for almost five years. Five. That's a pretty long  time for people our age. I mean, I don't know many others, our age, that have made it to five. It hasn't been easy, but it's been worth it.

Not many people know this, but I only knew my husband for two months when we were married. And I was eighteen so you can imagine how much the odds were against us. I met him while he was in training. And I flew from Hawaii to Missouri to see him graduate. And let me tell you, I was a nervous wreck. I landed the afternoon before and I was with his sister. I was 5 minutes from him, but I couldn't see him. I ate dinner, talked to him for a few and then crashed. Hard. I had spent 24+ hours traveling. And it was the first time I was basically by myself and had to navigate airports. I was seventeen. It was stressful at times. And I had just left my mom. So I was exhausted. I think it was 7:00 pm when I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning a ball of nerves. What if he felt different about me? What if he saw me and changed his mind? Obviously that didn't happen, but I was still scared.

I remember when I saw him. In his Class A's. He was so handsome and I had butterflies. I couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over so I could be near him. But of course he couldn't show any kind of PDA so I don't think he even held my hand. After everything was over and he grabbed all of his stuff we headed back to his sister's, which is where we were staying until he was supposed to be at {then} Fort Drum. He held my hand the entire ride. That is one of the little moments that I will never forget. We spent a great two weeks together and then on December 5th, 2008, my eighteenth birthday, we were married. I remember he told his dad  the night before that we were getting married. He was SHOCKED. Asked if we had any money, a car, anything. We didn't. Not really. So he pulled some strings and got us stationed at Fort Hood last minute. That bit of time was stressful. I don't know if he knows how much he helped D and I the first month of our marriage.

Ok, now I have gotten WAY off track, and taken a trip down memory lane. In the last five years we've had a beautiful little girl, kicked a year long deployment's butt, gotten through a major surgery to try to help fix his deployment injury, which led to him being medically discharged, so we are now adjusting to non military life. Many fights, hard times, being basically robbed, car troubles, many new houses and a big move. Now we are talking about buying our home and planting roots. Having another baby. I'm  trying to get a photography business going on top of my full time job and D is trying to start school to further his career. My marriage hasn't always been easy, but I have loved every second of it. It's different and wonderful.